Written by Santa & Mrs. Claus
Well, it’s been a long year, and many folks have made their way onto Santa’s Nice List. However, many folks have made their way onto Santa’s Naughty List, as well. Marietta had a year of ups, downs, lefts, and rights, but in the end, Santa and Mrs. Claus always get the last laugh.
Here’s who made our Marietta Nice List this year: 
MABA: You utilized the rain date for Marietta Day! Everyone (well, mostly everyone) was happy that Marietta Day got postponed to a better weather day. Thank you for staying on top of the weather, as well as Marietta’s favorite giant yard sale.
The Bars in Town: Rock-solid entertainment this year! Open mic nights, trivia, karaoke, a lil’ sump’n sump’n for everyone. Live music on Front Street. Cozy acoustic sets by the bar. Back porch jam sessions. Music and booze go hand-in-hand, and I don’t know if I’ve been to a bar town outside of Gulf Coast Texas that has a better live music scene.
Marietta Community House: Aside from being a public meeting venue, MCH is also a polling place, the annual host of the Marietta Veterans Day festivities, an art gallery for our plein air painters, and myriad other community events. It is also the site of one of four veterans’ memorials in the borough.
Borough Council: You gave the town the zoomies by allowing golf carts to roam the (certain) streets. Now all that Mr. and Mrs. Claus need is for the mayor to go ahead and drop off a golf cart at the Claus residence (*ahem*).
Donegal Intermediate School: Without you, Marietta Fireworks doesn’t happen. Thank you for allowing us to desecrate your property in the name of public enjoyment each year. And to those in the community: They let us use the property because an all-volunteer team cleans up after the fireworks each year. If you want to help the community and be a part of the cleanup team that allows this to happen each year, contact Marietta Fireworks.
Marietta Pioneer Fire Company: It’s been a busy year for the fire department. They’ve kept us safe no matter what. Thank you to Chief Smith and the entire department, as well as the Marietta Special Fire Police and Lancaster EMS/MESA for making Marietta not just a great place to live, but also a safe place to live.
Now for Santa’s Naughty List:
Facebook Keyboard Warriors: Or as Mrs. Claus likes to call them, “Grumpy Guses”. We already know what you’re cranky about, you don’t need to let us all know for the umpteenth time. Ten lumps of coal.
Dollar General: Marietta begged for a good local store for decades, and thanks to you, we’re still begging for a good local store. A truckload of coal (even though we know it won’t get unloaded and put on the shelves until Easter).
Marietta Squirrels: Nobody’s pumpkins were safe this fall. I hope you all got drunk off the fermented gourds, you jerks. Three and a half lumps of coal because that’s all their little arms can carry.
Whatever Caused the Tollbooth Antiques Fire: We don’t know who or what caused that travesty, but we all hope that the market can come back. Santa is sending good Christmas vibes to those affected. To who or whatever caused the fire: One million lumps of coal.
Speeders in the Borough: The speed limit in the borough is 25 MPH. No more, no less. This isn’t Le Mans. If you want to race, go down to Maple Grove. If you want to look cool, ain’t nothin’ cooler than cruisin’ less than the speed limit so everyone sees you. Ten lumps of coal for every MPH over the limit.
“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others.”
-Bob Hope